How do you treat your best friend?


Submitted 6 months ago
Created by
Joyce Amsden

And how to be that best friend to you..

For most of my life I spent little time alone. I grew up here in the Upper Valley as #10 of 11 children and in my early 20's set forth to raise my own family. As my youngest child reached adulthood, I came full circle and returned to this area to assume the role of helper for my elderly mother. All in all, it has been a wonderful life, brimming with relationship and learning.

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And then, over the course of a year, my mother passed away, my relationship ended and my best ever feline friend, Mr Mitzi, died.

I was ALONE.

I adjusted. It wasn't that I minded, most of the time, spending time alone. It's just that I had never learned to live for myself. Without someone else to cook for, I often didn't bother to eat properly. Without someone to do something with, I quite often just - didn't.

But one hot July day all that changed. 

The sun beat down on my back as I pulled weed after weed from my vegetable garden. The sweat beaded on my brow and ran down into my eyes.

I was thirsty.

I rubbed the sweat out of my eye with the back of a dirty hand, looked down the long row of green beans that loomed ahead and said to myself,

“Oh, really. Just get this row weeded and then get something to drink.”

Just then a thought flickered in my mind.

If HE were here and said he was thirsty, what would you do?

I would have insisted that HE come right away from there and sit in a comfortable chair in the shade while I went to the house to gather tall glasses of iced tea and a plate of cookies. And the hot chore would become a wonderful little party in the shelter of a large maple tree.

Why would I treat myself any differently?

As I sat with that question, I realized that it is easier for me to be good to others where, for myself, I might not bother. And so it is, I now regularly ask myself,

If my best friend were here, right now, expressing this need or wish or desire, what would I do?

And I do it for myself.

Because I deserve it. Because being good to myself is so much fun! 
Because I have more to give to others when I am taking good care of myself. 

I challenge you to give it a try.



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