Are You Lonely Tonight?

5 Tips for Banishing Loneliness from your LIfe

Are you lonely tonight? Maybe you are often lonely and it is so painful and you just wish there were some other way. I've been there and here are some things I have learned about banishing loneliness.

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  • Don't hide from the feeling – Acknowledge it. Write it down – whatever comes to mind. How does it feel? Where do you feel it in your body? Have a good cry and release the emotion from your body. 
  • Consider the possibility that loneliness is not a reality but a feeling that you can change. The circumstances of your life are what they are, but the meaning that you give them creates your feelings, in this case - loneliness. That means you are in charge and have a choice do do something different.
  • Think ahead and plan for the times that are likely to be troublesome. Mothers Day? Christmas? The anniversary of a loss? Something or someone you long for is not available to you and you feel the onslaught of loneliness. Understandable. Often predictable. But not inevitable. There are things you can do to bypass or minimize this feeling of loneliness. Planning ahead can help you to have a different kind of experience. 
  • Pick up the phone and call someone. Visit a friend, neighbor or relative, especially one who you suspect may be feeling lonely too. BUT – watch out. If you contact someone out of your need, they will likely feel you tugging at them and hesitate to respond. Loneliness is like a black hole in the back yard. You don't want to step into it. Neither do you want to dig a hole in someone else's back yard to fill your own. They won't be receptive to it and it won't work.
  • An easy way to avoid this mistake is to offer a gift and focus on the other person. Think about this person and how you could share your love with them. What would they really enjoy? A bouquet from your garden? Food? A handwritten note? A heartfelt compliment? Something you made? A small thoughtful gift. An hour of your time just listening? A few words that reflect what they mean to you? All of these things are ways of giving that cost little or nothing. What matters is that the gift is from the heart.

The magic of love: Give some and your own cup will be automatically filled.

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