Can anyone give us a hand with a tiny bug problem?

Submitted 9 months ago
Created by
Tom Haushalter

ALERT: There are bugs in DailyUV. 

Normally that’s a problem for our developers, who are always tweaking the DailyUV platform to enhance the overall user experience. When something’s “buggy” on the backend, the dev team starts talking in dashes and back-slashes and it’s like watching TV in a foreign country—without subtitles. 

But what I mean is, we’ve got bugs at DailyUV. The six-legged kind, with wings.

It's a bona fide Fruit Fly Problem in the office. In the middle of winter. And they’re everywhere.

I knew they were drawn to apples, but this is ridiculous.

Never thought I’d say this, but I dream of when worm outbreaks were all we had at DailyUV.

Like last fall, when developer and resident urban farmer Ben Sheehan’s composting worms escaped the seedy confines of their worm sanctuary. It was a minor massacre. You don’t know worms can self-immolate en masse until you see it with your own eyes.

The worm farm survived and went on to prosper—perhaps too well. Because little did we expect their survival to spawn a new ruling class of miniature garbage feeders.

You hear the slaps and claps and hands slamming down on desks about every two minutes now. And it’s a weird thing to turn into someone who stands and gloats over their fresh fruit fly kill.

If it looks like I'm collecting trophies, it's because I am.

But celebration’s brief. Soon another one’s in your hair. On your nose. Around your ear.

Um, so…help? Please?

Cider vinegar traps seem insufficient here. Personally, blow torches are where I’m at.

We can’t be the only workplace with a worm farm-enabled fruit fly infestation. Right?

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