1. When Last Christmas comes on, you threaten people that it really will be the last Christmas if they don't turn off the radio.
2. You smile when you see needles fall off a Christmas tree.
3. The best thing about eggnog is watching it get poured down the drain.
4. Carolers singing about peace on earth with will be swiftly cited for disturbing the peace.
5. You call Fish and Wildlife officials concerned because you've heard plans of a man illegally transporting a reindeer herd across international borders.
6. Your favorite thing about A Charlie Brown Christmas is his depression.
7. Your contribution to the work potluck is a fruitcake from Kmart.
8. You give children coal with a pamphlet discussing the many purposes of fossil fuels.
9. You tell Santa you're leaving him chocolate chip cookies but they're really oatmeal raisin.
10. You laugh when your neighbor falls off the ladder stringing up the lights.