Any time my daughters ask me about choosing a life partner, my knee-jerk response is that they should marry someone who is, or can be, their best friend. Sometimes, though, I wonder if this is a complete response or a fair requirement.
My husband is, and has been, my best friend for almost 20 years now. And I am his. Sometimes, though, we both realize that this puts an enormous amount of pressure on our relationship. Because we are each the best friend of the other, and the person in whom we confide everything, we are also placing 100 percent of our stress burden on another person who already shares it, rather than reducing our load by sharing it with someone outside of the situation. When something is wrong, whether a child is having a health crisis or we are dealing with an unexpected problem, all of those worries are simply circulated back and forth between us, without finding an outlet to escape. Somehow, I think that probably isn't a good thing.
Likewise, on those occasions when we get frustrated with one another, we also lack an outlet. In times past we have complained to each other how annoying it is that when we are mad at each other the one friend we want to kvetch to is the same person we're mad at. Of course, it would probably help if we were the type of people who find it easy to confide in others, but instead we both hold most of our emotions pretty close to the vest. So, while we both have other very good friends, we tend not to tell them the intimate details or worries that we freely confide to one another.
So, maybe my advice should be: make sure your partner is your best friend, but also make sure you have one or two other best friends with whom you are able to share some of the burdens of your life. I will continue to ponder this and, as usual, discuss it with my best friend. Until next time, y'all have a good one!