Dear Ms. Doyle, I think I have been asked on a date, but I'm not entirely sure. My initial inclination to say yes was thwarted by the fact that I'm entirely infatuated with another guy, who (of course) is friends with the infamous "asker outer." Due to my Jane Austen-worthy affections towards his friend, I find it necessary to say no to this "asker outer." However, I don't know if I have even been asked out, which is why I have a problem. What should I say to this nice guy, who very well may have been asking me to get coffee as a friend or on the other hand, may have been asking to get coffee as a date?
Thanks, Life Was Easier without Facebook
Dear Life was Easier:
It sounds as though you have two questions. First, you are wondering if romantic intentions lie behind a coffee invitation by “AO” (asker outer). Second, (if I infer correctly) you are wondering if, by accepting “AO’s” invitation, you might inadvertently be deterring his friend, “Darcy", from inviting you out should he get wind of the coffee date.
Neither you nor I can guess with certainty “AO’s” intentions. Your only hope for finding out would be to accept his invitation. Do you know yet how YOU feel about “AO”? (How could you? You barely know him!) Is he interesting enough to meet for coffee once or twice? If so, are you brave enough to accept and find out?
Now on to Darcy. I heard about a young man who developed a crush on a young lady whose name he didn’t know. One day, he saw her in the library, introduced himself, handed her his phone number (written on a piece of paper, no less!), and invited her to text him if she wanted to have lunch together in the cafeteria. This might be a good strategy for you with Darcy. If he doesn’t text you, then I'm certain he doesn’t deserve you. But if he has any class at all, he’ll understand that you are brave and clever and therefore worthy of his attention.
If you are wise enough to know that life was easier without Facebook then you also know that life is full of unintended consequences. I cannot know at this time where advances (or lack of same) by either “AO” or Darcy could lead. But I encourage you to get to know each of them, preferably in person.
PS: The young lady in the library did text the young man, they had lunch, and, as far as I know, things have blossomed.
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